Had another list rejected by McSweeney’s, but I like this one enough to show you the whole thing. Without further ado:
What I Might Mean When I Click the Like Button Next to Your Comment on My Facebook Status Update
I like your comment.
I like you, though your comment leaves me disinterested.
I like that you left a comment, though your comment leaves me enraged and I don’t know how much I care for you anymore.
I don’t like you or your comment, but I worry about the consequences of your knowing my feelings.
I don’t like you or your comment, and I don’t care whether you find out, but I worry that others involved with this thread might think it callous of me not to acknowledge your comment, since everybody knows you have no friends and we all feel bad for you.
I don’t like you or your comment, and I don’t care whether you or anyone else finds out, but I’ve had a few to drink and in a moment of dizzy compassion, I thought I should Like your comment. I wake up to find myself mistaken, but I think that Unliking your comment the morning after would be too cruel a way to treat even you, given the night we’ve just had together, and given that I forgot my wallet and will have to borrow money from you for the breakfast we’re eating right now, while I check Facebook on my iPhone.